think I suck at this stay at home mommy thing..

She called out to me.. “Mom I am going out again” well that is what I heard anyway. This house and family feels like it is getting smaller and smaller. Where was I when11255865_694527887337323_2708011790889105685_n she was picking wild flowers, playing with dolls, wanting to cuddle with mommy? I was working 2 jobs. I watched my kids grow up via baby sitter pictures, late night phone calls on a minute caught from doing paper work at my desk. I was a nurse in a very busy little hospital. I missed it all now I see her walking in and out.. where did the time go? How can I get it back? I can’t… I do however have this opportunity to be with the boys and not work all the time. I have to say I think I suck at this stay at home mother thing .. That beautiful girl in the pictures.. that is her… my last little girl and she is getting ready to leave for college in less than 16 months.. How can I possibly make up all the nights I wasnt there to tuck her in, read to her, catch fireflies? I can’t but I can be the very best at being this grown up girls mom now… and hope she can forgive me for having to work so hard as a single mother.