my flowers (2)

Just when I think my little monsters… aka my sons.. have driven me to the brink of insanity.. they pull me back around their sweet little finger where I am usually wrapped around… They go and pick these beautiful little vase of wildflowers for me and tell me “mommy your the greatest..” But I never believe them.. because all I ever hear is myself yelling…  “Pick that up!”, “Don’t do that!), “STOP!” “Don’t Make me pull over!”,  “Brush your teeth!” or myself thinking God I just want to run away some days.. This kind of random act of kindness brings as much guilt as happiness to me, I wonder if there is a way it could just bring happiness, can I just one time forgive myself for working too much, not taking them to the park or the zoo that time they reallllly wanted to go?, I skipped the bed time story sometimes and took a hot bath and had a glass of wine.. God my heart floods with guilt as I see their eyes twinkle and their face turn up in a smile as they hand me these random wildflowers as they have 100 times before… Hoping the next time I can forgive myself for being human… and stop the guilt right in it’s tracks so the happiness can burn in my mind forever before they are handing their wives, with their kids these flowers instead of me…