I know I suck at this stay at home mommy thing!!

I can’t stand those people now, the ones who say” What do you do all Day?” I use to work 60 hours a week away from home and I can honestly , sitting from both sides say a stay at home mother if worked at hard.. is the hardest job I have ever held and by far the most rewarding..

I have for now almost 4 years out of 19 on and offed the stay at home mom thing. I remember the first day of my stay at home mom gig. I was crying dogs running crazy, one of the snakes out of the aquarium, kids running everywhere (including my own) a stray cat running across the couch, house a mess, me a mess, the neighbors complaining and so it went..

My new husband Matt came home and his eyes,  with a look of terror in his eyes…  I could see that maybe  he was thinking.. and why did I ask her to stay home..? I could see his mind turning.. thinking ( she is a nurse? She assists with surgery? ok so why can’t she handle this..???) I myself was crying and trying to dig up a number for a baby sitter.. I was .. well… I was had!!

That was one day in a million others that went really bad. I had always had a nanny for my children and she was there when they went to bed and most when they got up, so this 24 hour mommy thing.. Well lets just say I as an apprentice not a professional. Why had I ever called myself a mother? I had no idea how hard my nanny worked.. or for that matter how much I had missed out on.

Over the next couple of months I began to know my children in a way I never had. I never realized that over the years I had simply become a stranger while trying to make a living as a single mother. The guilt I suffered, the heartbreak as they rejected me and begged for the nanny, I cried myself to sleep so many nights I cannot count. As time went on the older ones came rebel against everything, screaming I had no right where had I been? The smallest Logan crying for the nanny.. unfortunately she had became the mother in my absence as I just tried to keep a roof over our head, food on our table, and clothing on them.. all four of them.. and picking up the pieces of my single life daily.

I was about to give up then slowly now over years of being present in my children’s life thanks to Matt and God I am now able to pick and choose shifts, jobs, hours, days, no work , part time, or full. I have learned to balance a lot including being a mother they can count on. (Matt I love you for this and many countless other reasons)

Final thoughts from Simply Mommy:

I know you feel like you suck at this stay at home mommy thing, but one day.. you will win the hearts of your children and husband forever and that is the greatest accomplishment we could ever hold as a women.